Well, I realized that I just haven't posted in a really long time. I have been meaning to for so long now. So many fun things happened over the summer I know I am way out dated but I will have to put up pics and tell you all about it. I usuallly really don't like summer but something about this summer was just special I don't know if it was so much family coming to see us, or if it that it didn't get to hot for me or what it was exactly but I just loved it. We have a pool where we live and man I just couldn't get enough of it. We went night swimming and everything AJ probably thought I was crazy lol. Part of the reason I loved it so much was because it was good therapy for my leg and my leg is doing better than ever which makes me so happy and so proud. I worked hard and wanted it so bad and I got it. Now it is fall and we have had a bit of drama around where we live but we are moving on Dec 15 and I think that should take care of it. Well I will post soon with pics but it is late see ya.

Things I miss.......

Unfortunately, My strokes have taken some things away from me that I don't know how or if I will get back some things I miss I didn't get to do very often but the fact that it was taken away from me sucks such as horseback riding, riding a bike, hiking, rock wall climbing things like that. Some of those I may never have back no matter how much I recover due to being on blood thinners.

Other things I miss even more running, walking, swimming, yoga, exercising how I want to. Not feeling so Incredibly overwhelmed all the time. Being able to clean a lot faster than it does now in a wheelchair. Driving, Just little things that you don't even think about until it is taken away from you. Being able to hold more than 2 lbs. in my left hand.

It is definately true you don't know what you have until it is gone. I just try to be so grateful for everything I have each day. I wish I wasn't so stressed from this and that AJ wasn't but it sorta turned our world upside down. I am hoping that, that part will die down. And I pray each day that my bloodthinners will work so this never happens again and I can live my life with my husband as long as possible on this earth. Something else I also miss is our family. I wish we could just go see them whenever but we can't. Well, These are just a few of the things I miss.

Rejection

Being in a wheelchair is hard, but what is even harder is when people reject you or discrimnate against you because of it. AJ and I live in a ward where lets just say a few people think that because I am handicapped now I must be mentally handicapped as well. All they see is the wheelchair. Why can't people see me? I am still capable of doing many things. I may not be able to ride a bike or walk yet but someday I will walk. Maybe not a marathon but I will walk. No my memory isn't the best and I do have a hard time thinking of words do to the strokes but I am still all there.I just wish there was some nice way of saying that to them. Instead I take the rude comments every week and I get my feelings hurt. But that is ok I am alive. I get to be here with my wonderful husband who I love dearly. We get to see our family when we get a chance. I wish I could say that rejection due to my strokes and my wheelchair by these people or people on the streets or elsewhere doesn't hurt but it does. I think over time it won't. I think rejection in any form for any person hurts. It just does. But I take a deep breath shake it off inside and move on.

Reality sets in.

Friday was such a fun day I went to Denver with a friend to a disability expo at Craig Hospital they had different wheelchairs designs carriers and equipment. So many cool things to see and want especially when you are in a wheelchair for so many hours a day doing so many things. With my second stroke I think everyone was hoping and thinking oh we will see here up and walking again in no time. No such luck I try my hardest every day I am still doing Physical Therapy, Occupational Therapy, Speech Therapy (for memory and problem solving) as well as seeing a nurse for my blood clotting disorder. I know I will walk again however I also know I will always be in a wheelchair too. I have come to accept this I stay positive and keep trying my hardest and moving on I take a deep breath and have some fun like on friday going to Denver with a friend going to dinner with her and AJ and then we went and watched a movie at home. Then saturday rolls around something happens and reality smacks me in the face of what I will never be able to do again. It is funny how life happens when I was 18 I felt like I had everything before me, could do anything, I guess just goes to show you never know what you will be tried with. Everyone has to have their battles. We found out on AJ's birthday that one of my bloodclotting test came back postitive I will be on blood thinner's the rest of my life. The bloodclotting disorder caused my strokes and at least now we know. Someone in my family referred to bloodthinners as rat poison which of course they are not. They are saving my life. People are quick to judge but if the table's were ever turned I am sure it would be different. I am learning that here in Colorado when you are in a wheelchair lots of people are quick to judge it is sad. Everyone has their own challenges and we do not know there circumstances. I am sorry I don't mean to preach I have just gotten my feelings hurt a lot! lately, here. So just something to think about.

We really would love to come see our nieces and nephews we don't what to do we can't come to utah right now or anytime soon unfortunately. And we would love to see Hayden, Dusty, and Kyrie but I don't know what to do. Staci we can come to Denver just about any Saturday please just let us know when!? Love you guys!!! :)

Happy Easter!

Happy Easter everyone, especially to my Sweetheart Kim. We saw General Conference on BYU TV and it was wonderful. There were so many wonderful messages given. Some of the ones that stood out to me are about mothers and there nurturing influence which they can have to there children, as well as so many messages speaking of the latter day tribulations, tempest, trials, and the need to follow the Lord and to stay strong. It's so wonderful that we can bless the lives of others. As family is the most important of all units on this earth, it was shared that the most important learning on this earth occurs in the walls of the home.

I'm almost done reading the book of Numbers in the Old Testament. So many gospel truths are taught step by step in the Old Testament. I'm so grateful that the Savior Jesus Christ came to this earth to set the perfect example for us and make the ultimate sacrifice for us to be able to return to the Lord in full happiness. The Savior taught so much more by saying AND doing. He truly served the people and still does. I hope that we can all better serve one another by the things which we say and do in our daily lives.


Jasper, our yorkie, got a haircut yesterday. We got him two months ago and he had had a "hack job" of a haircut. Now, his hair is the same length and he looks so cute. He is so happy. He had vaccinations a few weeks ago and will get the rest in a couple of weeks. He also had his teeth cleaned. Yorkie's get really bad plaque, especially if they eat a lot of wet dog food. He was fed wet food before we got him and he had really bad teeth. Now, his teeth are all white and shiny! His breath is a lot better too!

I hope everyone has a wonderful Easter. Be happy and always remember that Jesus lived and died, and lives again, so that we will live again and return to God's presence. With our family, friends, and neighbors, we can live our lives happily now, and be together even after this life.

Another Tough Day

This Sunday was a difficult day. Kim had another Grand mal seizure and was feeling woozy all day long. For those who don't know much about different types of seizures, a Grand mal seizure is the type of seizure that most people think of when they hear the word seizure. The body shakes and arms, sometimes legs, shake back and forth. They hurt very badly and can take several days, and even a week to recover back to normal. Well, we couldn't go to church, because Kim was so weak and felt like she was going to have another seizure. We did get to watch the Testaments video at home and listened to Music and the Spoken Word. The BYU channel has so many different programs to watch. We even got to see some of the Women's Conference session on Saturday.
Kim's shoulder and entire arm started to hurt after her seizure and so we took her to the ER to make sure that nothing was broken. She had landed on her right shoulder. Thankfully, it wasn't broken, but it was sprained or something. It hurts.

On the bright side, I got to read some more of the scriptures while we were in the ER. I read about when the sons of Aaron, the Levites, were set apart and given the responsibility of the Aaronic Priesthood to work in the Tabernacle, in the Old Testament. I've only read parts of the Old Testament before, so I've set a goal to read the entire Old Testament this time. I also read about the Passover. The Lord was understanding to people if they were traveling during the Passover. They were to do there part of the Passover in the second month rather than the first, if they were traveling during the Passover. I didn't know that. This is in the book of Numbers if you want to look it up!

Well, it's past my bedtime, it's almost 2am, so I should probably get some sleep. I love you Kim and I hope you get feeling better.